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For Elisa

Elisa, this is not her real name

For my own reasons, this I will not reveal

Even the closest of friends

What I am about to disclose might astonish

But somehow I want to be genuine

So I will just put this in down in writing

To pour out all of my innermost feelings

What would she think if she found out?

That I have been secretly in love with her

I am fully aware my affections will not be reciprocated

How many times have the nuns told us?

That a woman is for a man and vice-versa

Elisa, I befriended you because I wanted to be close to you

Even if cannot reach you I am contented to be near you

I need to be next to you at all times

The thought of inhaling the same air,

Occasionally touching your arm

And talking with you sustains me

I adore how you taught me the game of cards

That would soon be our favorite pastime

All these bring me so much joy

I know nothing will come of these complex thoughts

Most probably I will come out losing at the end

Although we share many things in common we are so unlike

You have straight inclinations, while I am

For lack of a better expression, different

How long I will stay this way, in love with you

I have no answer

But somehow I have to express this

Simply have to let it all out

Maybe in a forlorn poem or a sad love song

In the days to come, I imagine

That when we grow old and you will come to visit

You will see me alone playing solitaire

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